Lighten Up

Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.

Communicate

When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

Re-establish Old Traditions

If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.

Predictability 

If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, œI love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected. 

Re-establish Old Traditions

If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.

Predictability

If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, œI love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.

Needed Space

As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each >other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.

No Debates 

If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.

Filler Talk

If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, Do you like your carrots? or I wonder what is on TV tonight? Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, œDid you have a good day at work? with œTell me what you did at work today. Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mateŝs life. 

The Power of Touch

When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mateŝs hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!

Surprise

If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, œI have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonightŝs performance,¯ or œI know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert. The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch the heart!

Start Over

When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, œYou look beautiful,¯ they might hear œWhy are you wearing that shirt? If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

Schedule Time 

Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency. 

Memory and Success: How to Create Success by Understanding Memory

Remember that old familiar saying, "Out of sight, out of mind?" and the opposite saying, "Familiarity breeds contempt?" Well, in this modern world of online social networking and building a powerfully successful online business, it seems that the first saying holds the most relevance. So many people and businesses are vying for attention, clamoring to grab their piece of the money pie that is constantly being dangled by super online marketers.

On the web, in the social networking world, familiarity breeds income and often unimaginable success. Opportunities to participate in high paying joint ventures, affiliate marketing, speaking engagements, high priced consultation fees, expensive products and programs. The more familiar you become, the more likely you will be to receive lots of residual income, even when you are on vacation, enjolying time with your family and friends, participating in some leisure activity, or even sleeping.

One key to the success of the super marketers is that they have mastered the minds of others by knowing something about memory, about the way the mind works and the way people remember. Research has indicated that there are five basic keys to help you create such an onlne presence that people can't help but remember you. Apply these simple concepts and you may be amazed at the results in your business and in your life.

--The first event that happens is the most easily remembered. Be the first to present a concept, a type of product, an image, an emotion - or - present an old item in a new way.

--Repetition, repetition, repetition. Repeat your offer, your product, your advice, your solution - over and over and over again. Create blogs, articles, videos, more blogs, more videos. Send emails, enroll people in your free teleseminars, give free ebooks, free bonus reports, invite your prospects to an event, interview another well known entrepeneur, get interviewed on blogtalkradio, send more emails, create more articles, videos, blogs, etc., etc. etc. Put yourself out there on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, and hundreds of other sites. And don't stop keeping your material fresh and your presence alive online.

--Be unusual, unique, clever, different, even strange. Novelty, surprise and even shock bring attention. Grab people's attention. Make sure that you do not appear ordinary. Make sure you stand out. Create a cooky video, an eye catching logo, a shocking headline.

--Be personal. Treat all your online communications as if you are talking to a close, intimate, trusted friend. Share yourself authentically. Sound real, sensitive, knowledgeable and caring. Don't be afraid to show your insecurities or flaws. In fact, freely reveal your flaws so that people feel that you are like them and they think they can trust you.

--Send another announcement, email blast, link - TODAY. If you did it yesterday, great. But do it again today. People remember things that happened most recently. Be continually current. Put yourself in the news NOW

To build a successful business and then to maintain your success, follow the above simple rules of memory. Get people to know, like and trust you and then put yourself right in front of them in as many ways and as frequently as you can. And if you did it yesterday, do it again today.

http://sta.rtup.biz/profiles/blogs/memory-and-success-how-to

Face your Weaknesses

The best way to get better at anything and to be successful is to face the weaknesses we all possess. Everyone has weaknesses and in order to be better, think clear, act appropriately, and succeed, you have to identify the areas you need to improve on and then take action to turn your weaknesses into strengths. 

There is no better gratification than being successful. Accept that you are in for some hard work but the results will be incredible. Use these tips as guidelines and step outside the box. Take action and succeed! 

Improve Efficiency

You will want to develop your potential to its fullest. The more efficient you can become the better job you will do. Be efficient with your time by not procrastinating and efficient with your effort by staying focused.

Have Balance in your Life 

Imagine yourself on a canoe with another person. The day is beautiful, sunny, and warm. The two of you are floating along without a care in the world. Suddenly, ripples of water start rocking the canoe and without proper balance, both of you, along with all your belongings, are thrown into the cold water. It is the same when you strive for success. You have to find balance not only for yourself but also for others around you. Balance means providing time away from work for pleasure, working extra hours when required, knowing when a new direction is required, etc.

Have Fun 

When people start into the process of being successful, whether for personal growth or starting a business, they may start by incorporating fun, but within a very short time, they realize it is hard work and the fun simply falls by the wayside. If you look at some of the most successful people in the world such as Sam Walton, Oprah Winphrey, or Ross Perot, you will find common threads that run between all of them. First, they started with nothing; second, they are all multi-millionaires many times over, and third, they have fun. They enjoy life, the people around them, and even find enjoyment in the challenges. This one element is often forgotten. This is a crucial element for success and should be a part of your plan. 

Be Nice

Study after study has shown that people with pleasing personalities have an easier time reaching success. Now only are they more levelheaded in handling the business but they also draw people around them that are eager and willing to help. In fact, in addition to being pleasing, be polite, show true interest, and have a great sense of humor.

Guard your Emotions

Keeping emotions in check is not always an easy task. You will have times of disappointment that will require you to react with integrity. You may feel like crying and feel as though your world has just ended. Keep telling yourself that it has not ended and you will just have to make some adjustments in your plan. Never allow anger to be a response. You never know the trickle down effect of that anger and how it could permanently damage your reputation.

Break Bad Habits

Habits, regardless of size or nature, can be exceptionally difficult to break. This will take a lot of effort but you can do it. Unfortunately, poor habits can be the one aspect of your behavior that could be the obstacle to your success. If you have a habit of sniffling or chewing your nails when you get nervous or saying demeaning or offensive things as a way of trying to control, to be successful, whether on a personal or business level, you have to stop.

Timing is Everything

You have probably heard it before “ timing is everything. Especially when it comes to opening a business, there is a right and a wrong time to start a business. This would be extremely important if your business has cycles or is seasonal. For example, if you are starting a business to do landscaping, the winter months when snow is on the ground is not the right time. You can be working toward your Business Plan, marketing ideas, finding investors, if required, etc., during those cold months, but you certainly would not want to open your doors for the first time in the heart of winter.

Keep it Lean

Start-up businesses do not have room for œdead¯ weight. As an example, when first starting out, if you need some assistance, rather then hiring a permanent employee that will involve salary, insurance, other benefits, etc., consider a temporary employee until the business grows. Keep improving the bottom line before you start adding on more expenses to your business.

Get the Word Out

If your success is focused on a business, when you get ready to open your doors, make sure you get the message out. This will include marketing promotions, advertising, sending out a press release, etc. The more people know about your business, the better chance of you have of reaching success.

Plan your Costs

Unbelievably, there are thousands of entrepreneurs that start a business without the foggiest idea of what their costs are going to be. Either there is an estimation that is way overstated or understated. From the very beginning, you need to have a strong handle on knowing what you will need to get your business started and keep it running. Additionally, you need to have projections for your future success. Know your numbers and make sure they are accurate.

Believe

Not only do you need to believe in the product or service you are building to success, you also need to believe in you. Your confidence is what will get you through the difficult challenges and build credibility with your customers.

Know your Customers

You should know, really know, your customers, especially your top ten. Find out what they like and dislike. What other products or services would be of value to them? These very relationships are what will keep your business going. It is crucial to consider your customerŝs desires all of the time.

Economic Value

Economic value defines your income. Considering your talent, also look at things that can help create economic value. These types of goals have better chance of being successful and lasting. Is there something in your community that could bring about more revenue? As an example, do you live in a smaller town where there are no fast food restaurants, causing people to drive miles outside of your town for a cheeseburger and shake? If so, perhaps opening a small fast food restaurant would be a great option. You could have the success of running your own business while bringing something to your community. 

Want Versus Need

When you strive for success, do it because you want  it, not because you need  it. When you want something, it brings about intention, desire, and action. However, when you need something, it will lead to pain, stress, and frustration.

Be Independent 

Do not be afraid to go for what you know is the right thing for you. Being independent allows you to take control over your destiny and emotional state. Stand firm in what you believe and do not allow other people to determine how you feel or what you believe in.

I have missed more than 9000 shots

Today I start with the thought I found on Nervingas Žydas blog.

I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why... I succeed." 

Michael Jordan

Loser is the one who stops after some failures, leaders are those who are not afraid to fail.

And the next though from series of success tips is:

Identify Procrastinations 

If you have a problem with procrastination, make a list of the things you constantly put on hold. This will help you identify your poor patterns and make the appropriate adjustments. Local colleges often have improvement courses regarding making better decisions and procrastination. Locate a class that would help you with this kind of challenge.

How to overcome self pity while increasing your love & compassion

Imagine what life would be like if you learned how to utilise your self-pitying states of mind by transforming them into powerful resources instead.

Could this be possible?

So called negative states of mind such as loneliness, frustration and despair are neutralised, changed or eliminated with many of the current psychological models.

While these methods can get useful results the whole picture becomes more interesting when we consider what many spiritual traditions have often claimed:

Our suffering actually contains within it an incredible opportunity for growth!

The fact that we are deeply familiar with states of suffering enables us to generate the most noble of virtuous minds such as love and compassion.

What this implies is that with the correct know-how we can replace our habitual patterns of self-pity with minds of love and compassion.

The secret of this approach is actually really simple, yet incredibly profound.

To experience a feeling of love/compassion rather than retched self-pity we simply switch the object of cherishing.

With self-pity we are obsessively cherishing our self: eg) "Poor me, me, me, I'm so lonely" etc.

If we were to switch the object of cherishing to another person we have affection for, and who probably experiences similar and worse feelings, it would enable us to generate a feeling of compassion.

A much more positive state of mind!

Below then is a complete strategy for 're-programming' our thought patterns.

A Strategy for Overcoming Self-pity

1. When you're feeling sorry for yourself what does that feel like? Notice the negative feelings in your body.

2. As you experience those feelings what would you name them? eg) loneliness, frustration, worthlessness

It's ok if you have no name for the feelings.

3. Imagine seeing yourself over there. Simply observe that you suffering and allow a feeling of love and compassion to arise.

Be gentle with yourself. Remember in essence we are pure, virtually limitless, potential and the delusions and problems we experience are like waves on an ocean. They are impermanent. They cannot not change!

3. Now think of loved ones who probably experience similar feelings and worse. (It's important that you actually choose people you have an emotional connection with. Somebody you're close too and have affection for.)

4. As you picture them in front, with that image of yourself, notice the growing feeling of love & compassion arising...

5. Breath with this feeling for a minute or three. You may begin to notice how you soften. Enjoy the warmth and softening of your heart centre.


Build Bridges of Love & Compassion into the Future 

To get this new strategy "wired-in" so it becomes an automatic habit we just need to do a few quick rehearsals in our mind.

So think of situations in the future where it's likely you would experience self-pity.

And notice what the first thing you would see or hear before the feelings of self-pity start up?

As you allow those feelings to arise go through the procedure from step 1.

Doing this rehearsal with a few situations, in different contexts, will enable your unconscious to generalise the new strategy.

What this means is that, in the future, as soon as feelings of self-pity begin to arise in whatever context, the new strategy will trigger and you will then have the freedom to
choose to experience feelings of love and compassion instead.

The choice is now in your hands.

 

Colin G Smith, nlptoolbox.com

Paint a Picture

A great way to keep working toward your goal is to see it. If you want to open a computer store, find a picture or article about Bill Gates when he first got started. If your success is to lose weight, go to Diets.com or Slimfast.com and print off a before and after picture of someone that has a similar body type to yourself. Perhaps your goal is to redecorate your bedroom. Again, locate before and after pictures on the Internet of decorated rooms. Seeing is believing!

Develop Uniformity 

At first, this may be a little challenging but strive to keep things on an even keel. This will keep your efforts and focus from going up and down. The more you can stay the course the quicker you will reach your goal to success.

Just Do It

Okay, so Nike coined that phrase but it is so accurate. Quit putting things off and just do it. If you want it bad enough, go for it! 

Understand your Goal

A great challenge is to prove to yourself that you can do it. One of the ways to prove this to you is to take on responsibility. If your goal for success involves opening a restaurant, work in a restaurant as a server to get a perspective of all the jobs involved to make the restaurant a success. Understand the entire business from the ground up.

Raise your Standards 

You may think you are working your tail off and you probably are. Try raising the bar just a little bit. Always expect the best from yourself. Do not beat yourself up if you do not always hit 100% but increase your standards and strive for more.

Unconscious Power 

The unconscious mind is a very powerful tool. Take advantage of this and each night before heading off to bed, take some time to pose questions to yourself and then allow your mind to hash them out while you sleep. In addition, mediate in whatever way you find relaxing before going to bed to clear your mind from clutter and allow the subconscious mind to go to work. 

Be Logical

Okay, you may be thinking that logic itself is logical. However, being logic in many cases means having some level of analytical ability. Regardless of the  way you think, find the logic in it. This will help you think and plan clearly and honestly.

Give 100% Effort 

If you are going to succeed, you have to be able to get through tough times. You will have to rise to challenges and not quit. You have to plan to go the extra mile and make personal sacrifices. Succeeding means giving 100% effort. Stay focused while keeping your performance on a consistent basis.




Take Classes 

Take some classes at college where you can get a certification. Enhancing yourself on a personal level will boost everything about you, making you feel better, about the person you are. When you feel better, you achieve more. This is a great time to obtain your certification in CPR, First Aid, a computer class, or some other outside interest you have. 

Offer a Guarantee

If you have created a business that offers either products or services, in order to get and keep customers coming back, they have to know that you stand behind what you offer. Providing a guarantee will help your business grow and reach the highest level of success.

Get Excited 

Do you remember your first trip to see a professional baseball game and how exciting it was to see the thousands of people cheering, enjoying the mouthwatering smell of popcorn and hot dogs, and hoping that you might get a chance to catch a foul ball? Perhaps you can remember your first prom, being excited that the right boy asked you to the dance, shopping for the perfect glamour dress, and buying your date a corsage. You need to be excited about your venture for success. Remember some of the things that brought true excitement to your heart when you were growing up and add that same excitement to your grownup life.

Expand your Mind 

Whatever your idea of success, take it one-step further. Stretch your mind and reach just one-step higher than you thought you could reach. If you were going to open an ice cream store, offering 30 flavors, go one more step and make it 31. Okay, you get the idea.

Be a Strong Leader 

Learn to be a good leader and a good mentor. Enjoy making a difference and in guiding others to achieve their potential as well. Help people reach to new horizons. 

Learn How to Delegate

As you start getting closer to your goal of success, you will find that there are many more things to do than hours in the day. If going into business, consider hiring someone; even part-time or on a freelance basis to help take some of your load. If your success is more on a personal basis, have family or friends pitch in to help you get things done. You will be amazed at how much this will help ease the situation and allow you the proper amount of time to focus on the things that need your full attention.

Be a Problem Solver 

Rather than stew over things or let stress overtake you, find ways to become a problem solver. Look at ways that you might find new customers, increase productivity, or resolve issues.

Conduct Research 

It is important to know what you are getting into. First, you will want to conduct research as far as the business, industry, or interest associated with your particular success. Second, the research will help you stay up to date on trends, which may or may not require you to make adjustments in your own goal. For example, if you were interested in opening a particular business focusing on a specific technology and that technology took a turn to another direction, new advancements, you may need to change the direction you were going for your own business. Unless you kept up on research, you would not know when a change was needed and therefore, would end up building a business already headed for failure.